covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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