What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
