Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
