Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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