Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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