oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
