I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
