Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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