ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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