Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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