you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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