Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
