i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
