This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
