summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
