You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
