They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
