i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
