next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
