already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
