Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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