lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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