porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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