Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
