well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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