Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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