apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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