you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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