literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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