road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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