i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
