I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Randomize
