What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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