Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
