yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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