question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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