Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
