I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
