so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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