Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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