You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
