it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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