Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
