I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
