but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
