it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
