yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
