he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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