What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They have beer where we have blood.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
