My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
