Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
