she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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