Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
