But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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