another moral hangover. fuck.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
