i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
there is glitter all over my balls
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