I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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