The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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