I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
