Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
