She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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