Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
